Children start school with different degrees of social and emotional
maturity. These qualities take time and practice to learn. Give your child
opportunities at home to begin to develop the following positive qualities.
★ Confidence: Children must feel good about themselves and believe
they can succeed. Confident children are more willing to attempt
new tasks—and try again if they don’t succeed the first time.
★ Independence: Children must learn to do things for themselves.
★ Motivation: Children must want to learn

★ Curiosity: Children are naturally
curious and must remain so to get the
most out of learning opportunities.
★ Persistence: Children must learn to
finish what they start.
★ Cooperation: Children must be able to
get along with others and learn to share and take turns.
★ Self-control: Children must learn that there are good and bad ways
to express anger. They must understand that some behaviors, such as
hitting and biting, are not acceptable.
★ Empathy: Children must have an interest in others and understand
how others feel.
Here are some things that you can do to help your child develop these qualities.
★ Show your child that you care about him and that you are dependable.
Children who feel loved are more likely to be confident. Your child
must believe that, no matter what, someone
will look out for him. Give your baby or
toddler plenty of attention, encouragement,
hugs and lap time.
★ Set a good example. Children imitate what
they see others do and what they hear
others say. When you exercise and eat
nourishing food, your child is more likely to
do so as well. When you treat others with
respect, your child probably will, too. If you
share things with others, your child also will
learn to be thoughtful of others’ feelings.

★ Provide opportunities for repetition. It takes practice for a child to
crawl, pronounce new words or drink from a cup. Your child doesn’t
get bored when she repeats things. Instead, by repeating things until
she learns them, your child builds the confidence she needs to try
new things.
★ Use appropriate discipline. All children need to have limits set for them.
Children whose parents give them firm but loving discipline generally
develop better social skills and do better in school than do children
whose parents set too few or too many limits. Here are some ideas.
★ Direct your child’s activities, but don’t be too bossy.
★ Give reasons when you ask your child to do something. Say, for
example, “Please move your truck from the stairs so no one falls
over it”—not, “Move it because I said so.”
★ Listen to your child to find out how he feels and whether he
needs special support.
★ Show love and respect when you are
angry with your child. Criticize your
child’s behavior but not the child. Say,
for example, “I love you, but it’s not
okay for you to draw pictures on the
walls. I get angry when you do that.”
★ Help your child make choices and work
out problems. You might ask your 4-
year-old, for example, “What can we do
to keep your brother from knocking over your blocks?”
★ Be positive and encouraging. Praise your child for a job well done.
Smiles and encouragement go much further to shape good
behavior than harsh punishment.

★ Let your child do many things by herself. Young
children need to be watched closely. However,
they learn to be independent and to develop
confidence by doing tasks such as dressing
themselves and putting their toys away. It’s
important to let your child make choices, rather
than deciding everything for her.
★ Encourage your child to play with other children and to be with
adults who are not family members. Preschoolers need social
opportunities to learn to see the point of view of others. Young
children are more likely to get along with teachers and classmates if
they have had experiences with different adults and children.
★ Show a positive attitude toward learning and toward school.
Children come into this world with a powerful need to discover and
to explore. If your child is to keep her curiosity, you need to
encourage it. Showing enthusiasm for what your child does (“You’ve
drawn a great picture!”) helps to make her proud of her
achievements.
Children also become excited about starting school when their parents
show excitement about this big step. As your child gets ready to enter
kindergarten, talk to him about school. Talk about the exciting things that
he will do in kindergarten, such as making art projects, singing and
playing games. Be enthusiastic as you describe all the important things
that he will learn from his teacher—how to read, how to how to count
and how to measure and weigh things.